4-Color to 35-Millimeter: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

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There have been many excellent stories told about Wolverine’s time before he joined the X-Men. This is most assuredly not one of them, as Hugh Jackman turns in the weakest performance in his seventeen years playing the role of Logan. The great superhero movie rewatch suffers through X-Men Origins: Wolverine so you don’t have to.

An excerpt:

Reynolds, at least, will be able to redeem Deadpool down the line. Would that the same could be said for all the others. Liev Schreiber doesn’t sound like Sabretooth, he sounds like a bored hipster. He conveys none of the menace of Creed, and his physicality is lacking. His leaping about like an animal on all fours probably looked great on the storyboards, but looks idiotic when shown. Kevin Durand in a fat suit is pretty awful (though still probably only the second-silliest thing he’s ever worn on camera), will.i.am and Dominic Monaghan create absolutely no impression whatsoever as Wraith and Bradley, and the less said about Taylor Kitsch’s spectacularly bland Gambit the better. Though I suppose I should be impressed that they managed to make Gambit boring. I’ve never had much use for Remy LeBeau, but whatever I may think of him, he was never dull until this movie. And Danny Huston gives no sense that he will age into anyone as talented as Bryan Cox. (They should’ve shelled out the money for the CGI to de-age Cox, it would’ve been a thousand times better than Huston’s tired mustache-twirling.)

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