4-Color to 35-Millimeter: Kick-Ass

A dorky teenager decides to become a superhero and much wackiness ensues. Behold a superhero movie that stars both guys who would later play Quicksilver! Behold the awesomeness of Chloë Grace Moretz! Behold the descent into incoherence that is Nicolas Cage’s latter-day acting style! Behold Mark Strong having way too much fun! And behold a comics adaptation that botches every single alteration from the source material! The great superhero movie rewatch examines Kick-Ass.

An excerpt:

Much worse, though, is the resolution of Lizewski and Deauxma’s relationship. When Lizewski comes clean and tells her that he (a) isn’t gay and (b) is really Kick-Ass, her response to finding out that he’s been lying to her (on two different levels!) for weeks is to—forgive him and invite him to her bed? Er, no, she should throw his lying ass out with all due dispatch.

And in the comics, that’s what happens, because in the comics Deauxma is a thinking human with a brain and agency and self-respect. In the movie, Deauxma is a prize to be won, a pair of tits that it’s Lizewski’s reward to be able to fondle because he’s become a superhero. It’s revolting, and gives us Just Another Romantic Subplot That Ends With The Man “Getting” The Girl, because that’s all girls are good for. Snore.